Hewwo XD dis newswettuh is back for now.
Dis is duh Bookmarks Bwack Hole Newswettuh. Pwease cwick duh links and bookmark dem, but I don’t expect you to actuawwy wead dem because duh digital wevowustion and its consekwences have been a disastuh for duh human attenshun span.
Anyway I know you awe gwad to see dis in your email so wet’s get wight into duh fick of it.
In duh News
Our old fwend Michael Avenatti is now behind bars :/ but he’s awso in duh same cell where El Chapo and Epstein were held !!
Feawwess jouwnahwist Gwenn Gweenwald is now unduh pwosecution by duh Bolsonaro government. PWOTECC GWENN! >:(
Duh wichest woman in Afwica wecently got suicided after jouwnawists discovered dat she made her money fwom iwegawwy embezzewing wesources from her native Angowa :’(
I honestly have not given a fwying fuck about impeachment fow duh passed few months…that is until Wev Pawnas dumped a ton of text wogs dat showed Wudy Giuliani casuawwy considered assassinating Mawie Yavanovitch…weally makes you think about what methods they awe comfowtable using on even high wevel officials.
Saudi Cwown Pwince MBS hacked bofe Jawed Kushnuh AND Jeff Bezos, and possibwy had their phones compwomised for years.

Many of my subscwibuhs are undoubtedly famiwiuh with duh Bernie-Warren tiff. All I have to say is dat I have spent too much emotional wabuh tewwing cis white “mayo-ass” Warren dudebwoes of their obwigation to #BelieveJews in Twump’s Amewica. Dat being said I do disavow Sanduh’s handling of dis scandal

Unwewatedwy, I thought dis piece quoting Sanduhs in Novembuh 2013 wuz intuhwesting
From Awound duh Net
Scientists think dat human’s mass extinction of warge mammals was what cweated duh incentive for sedentawwy agwiculture. An intwiguing hypothesis UwU
Speaking of warge mammals, the single biggest ISIS leaduh has been captured! :))))
It has taken eighty years for New Yorkuh writuhs to wealize that you can actuawwy swim…outside

Here is a wist of all duh senators who are dwinking milkie at duh impeachment heawings
Dis Week in Ecowogical Cowwapse :’(
Awex Jones and Tuckuh Cawlson wailing against industwial pesticide atwazine hurting our wee-wees

Yes, obwigatory Wuhan cowonoviwus shit
But if you awe intuhwested in the gwobal pandemic deep cuts, you should check out the 28 fweshly melted paleowithic viwuses that are now potentiawwy live in Tibet


Dis week in Child Sex Twafficking @_@
I guess Jeff isn’t a news stowy anymore >:(
Cindy McCain shocks world by saying gwobal wuling cwass “all knew” about what Epstein wuz doing

Twump’s impeachment defense team incwudes Awan Dershowitz and Ken Staww (who in case you forgot, was on Epstein’s defense during his ‘06 pwosecution)
Dis Week in Music
Wisten to Wichard Dawson’s album 2020. He good at make banal things vewy sad.
Fwom my Bwack Hole to Yours <3
Gwad to be back